iamincharge

Are you a yes man? Day 26

Posted on: July 25, 2012

Back in highschool, I did what I wanted; I didn’t pay much regard to the wants or needs of others. And then I went to college and realized how easy I had it back at home. My mom did the dishes, my dad mowed the lawn, my teachers gave me step-by-step plans for success, and my friends usually said yes to everything. High school is a far cry from the real world. In the real world of college I had to wash my own dishes (in an often puke-scented mop closet); I maintained my own space (I know maintaining an 11ftx8ft dorm doesn’t seem like much, but with two long-haired clutzes living in that space it got pretty messy); I kept a planner and sought  resources for academic help that were never mentioned by professors in lecture; I made friends who were busy and learned to prioritize. Last year, I began to really appreciate the occasions when someone said “yes” to helping me out and began to pay it forward. I was definitely a “no man” for the first 18 years of my life and am now more selfless.

Selflessness is an admirable trait right? Right…ish. It can be what allows you to make the days of others or ruin your own day, day after day. I want to use my best friend Elyse as an example of someone who could back off the yesses on occasion and probably gain some peace of mind from doing so (btw Elyse is one of the few specific examples I will ever give in my blog because she totally takes my self-improvement talk like a champ). I have witnessed this girl give the shirt off her back to someone, volunteer for hours on end when she could have been working for money, and leave almost every social event to shuttle her siblings around. She is a classic “yes man” and gets great reward out of helping others. On the other hand though, Elyse gets little recognition from many of the people she helps out, little time to spend with friends, and little time to herself. Because I care about her success and her happiness, I notice that sometimes people take advantage of her giving nature. I think if she would balance her yesses with nos, she would benefit academically, physically, and emotionally from taking some time for herself. If you are a “yes man” you probably could to.

We all know I am big on balance: balancing workouts, eating, and life. Surprise, surprise, balance is the bottom line of today’s post. Try responding to requests/invites with your schedule and overall happiness in mind. Will saying no to helping with a neighbor’s garage sale in favor of a beach day with family end in major negative consequences? Probably not. Will saying yes to a professor who would like you to come in for extra work on a paper instead of going to party with friends change something in your life for the better? Potentially.

On another note: I am officially starting my own challenges (both challenge 1 and challenge 2) today. I ran 7 miles this morning and have been tracking like a good girl. It’s definitely not too late to start. If you follow the instructions provided at either link any time this week, you are eligible to win a Starbucks gift card. Let’s end summer in the fittest way possible!

Any thoughts?

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